So... it's been over four years since the last time I submitted anything, and more than three years since I stopped being active on this site. Some people may have noticed bits of activity from me lately, though. I have been checking dA and noticing how it keeps changing, and not just the site, but some of the people I used to follow have changed quite a bit in the time that has passed, too.

As I spent some time recently to organize my "gallery" with the "new" dA features, I spent some time watching some of the stuff I did in the past. Gazing at the details, the colours, the depth, the textures, the play of lightning. All the subtle and not so subtle details that I used to add to every piece I coloured. And I realize... "was I really that good at colouring back then?"

Our perspective can really change a lot as we age. I browsed the journals of some old friends to figure out what they were up to, and at times I would reach much older comments of mine, with statements which I was nothing short of shocked at. "Was I really that ignorant back then?" But time passes, we grow, we learn, we improve. Or do we? Do you?

What have I been up to? Will anyone reading this even remember who I am? In case you do, let me give you a summary of what I've been up to: five years is a lot of time. Remember that question, "where do you see yourself in five years?" Five years ago I had no future to look for, nothing to aspire for, everything was a bleak fog, aimless wandering of a life. Since then so much has changed: that I spent a year on France, and now I've been in Switzerland for almost a year, are but the tip of the iceberg.

Anyway... back to the topic: I miss drawing. I miss colouring. It is not the first time I've said it, nor will it be the last. But little by little I am getting ready to once again pick the pencil. Would it surprise you if I confessed that I finally took some art courses, when I was already dead from dA for a year almost? I finally follow a proper skeleton/muscle-build-up methodology rather than simply trying to sketch a photo in my mind. I am more knowledgeable about proportions beyond just a "it does (not) feel right..." That's great, but I am still lacking practice. There's much I must catch up with, not just the pencil, but the colouring... ah the digital colouring. Will I still have it in me to spend 24+ hours to colour a piece? Will I even be able to regain the expertise I once had?

Why did I died from dA? So many years ago, I simply got overwhelmed with this site. I was watching nearly fifty people, many of them very active. Which meant multiple deviations a day to watch, and those who remember me know just how long I would take with each deviation in order to properly appreciate it (and then pour said appreciation into words, lots of words). It had gotten to a point where I just didn't have time to explore the site, to see new styles, meet new people... and work on my own stuff. Thus, it became unbearable and I lost interest.

I said to myself once, that when I returned to dA, I would go through my 3k+ waiting deviations and hundreds of pending journal entries. That promise probably was as good as convincing me I would never come back. I realize now the only way is a clean slate. I need to punch, kick and chop off my watch list, and start anew, start from zero, as only a stranger can do. Sure, there's people here I remember and will no doubt sorely miss, but I have been gone for four years, would they really notice my absence now if I officially stop following them?

And so it is, I must revive this account... or more properly, I must reincarnate it. You have been warned